Friday, April 8, 2011

Learning to Watch Cars


I know I have been quiet for awhile. I don't really know if I am back in this space yet, but today something felt right so I am going to post.

Over the past few months of silence I have been learning a lot. New things about myself, my marriage, my family and new things about God. I am not really sure yet what all of that means, but I am learning that life is not static and I have to be able to change with the tides and the seasons. Easier said then done.

This week I am learning how to watch cars. Not something I would ever have put on my list of top 100 things to do, but something that motherhood has placed before me. My 17 month old son has decided that cars are the coolest things on the planet and he wants us to stare out the window together in anticipation of a car driving by. Now, cars don't actually drive down our road too often which leads to this game being very boring for me. Yes, for me. My son has much more patience for this game then I do and he could stare out the window for long stretches of time, while I try to slyly pull out the IPad and surf the internet, hoping he won't notice that my attention is elsewhere. After being caught a few times and my attention demanded back to the empty road, I realized that the fun of car watching is not just the excitement he feels when a car drives by, it is the joy of being engaged with me in an activity that brings him so much pleasure. My attention is apparently part of the game.

So, I am learning how to watch cars. And also how to watch without any cars actually appearing, which is the more difficult task for me. But something worth learning because it brings so much joy to someone I love so much. And I guess in this season of life I am learning to worry less about how many cars I see and worry more about who I am watching cars with and being present in that moment, that connection with another human being.

Thursday, January 27, 2011


A drink of water after thirsty days
A swallow that fills your soul
reaching within for forgotten dreams
the way that life unfolds
Finding grace in graceless times
a stretch to hope at night
the blue of sky after rain has come
a point of dark in light
A glimpse, a thought, a moment lost
the need to create anew
Memories of past thats raw
the word of life and truth
Who I am, who I was
what I was made to be
seeking, finding, answering
too deep for me to see